Brett Cooper
  • Home
  • Blog
  • Daily Thoughts
  • Other
    • Snoop Movie Script >
      • SNOOP Logline
      • SNOOP Synopsis
      • SNOOP Script
      • SNOOP Article
    • Collaborative Novel Writing >
      • BEASTS OF EDEN
      • THE HEART OF ATLANTIS
    • "In the Blood" Short Story
    • Movie Reviews
    • Articles
    • Other Memes
    • Daily Thoughts in the Classroom
  • About
    • Contact
Brett Cooper Books

show, don't tell: kenny rogers vs. the flaming lips

8/11/2015

 
Picture
Most writing experts agree that it's best for fiction to "show, don't tell." Simply put, that means that a story should come to life like a movie or a virtual reality scene unfolding in brilliant detail in the reader's imagination. If you find yourself thrilled by a particular piece of fiction, chances are you are under the spell of a word-wielding wizard who knows how to put on a show. 

Today, I experienced a "show, don't tell" epiphany. It came to me through my Bluetooth headphones, and it was music to my ears.
Listening to an iPhone playlist as my wife and I stained our deck, I was glad when  one of my favorite songs began to play: "Fight Test" by The Flaming Lips. If you haven't heard it, please click below now and give it a try.
The story this song tells is one of a man who believes it's best not to fight, and he loses his love interest to the man he refuses to fight. I really dig this song. It's thought-provoking. It's got a fun vibe. And its propulsive sound is compelling. But it tells much more than it shows. Read the lyrics and notice the lack of details, the lack of visuals, the lack of a sense of being placed within a scene:
"The test begins... now!"

I thought I was smart
I thought I was right
I thought it better not to fight
I thought there was a virtue in always being cool
So when it came time to fight
I thought I'll just step aside
And that time would prove you wrong
And that you would be the fool


I don't know where the sun beams end
And the starlight begins
It's all a mystery


Oh, to fight is to defend
If it's not now, then tell me when would be the time that you would stand up and be a man?
For to lose I could accept
But to surrender I just wept and regretted this moment
Oh, that I, I was the fool


I don't know where the sun beams end
And the starlight begins
It's all a mystery

And I don't know how a man decides
What's right for his own life
It's all a mystery


Because I'm a man, not a boy
And there are things you can't avoid
You have to face them when you're not prepared to face them
If I could, I would
But you're with him now, it'd do no good

I should have fought him
But instead I let him, I let him take you


"The test is over... now!

What occurred to me as I listened to this song and stained my deck was that "Fight Test" tells nearly the same story as Kenny Rogers' "Coward of the County," another of my favorites. If you don't know it, you're in for a treat. Have a listen here:
Now take a look at the lyrics for "The Coward of the County." Notice the specifics and the visuals that bring the story to life in the mind's eye:
Everyone considered him
The coward of the county
He'd never stood one single time
To prove the county wrong
His mama called him Tommy
But folks just called him yellow
Something always told me
They were reading Tommy wrong

He was only ten years old
When his daddy died in prison
I took care if Tommy
'Cause he was my brother's son
I still recall the final words
My brother said to Tommy
Son my life is over
But yours has just begun

Promise me, son
Not to do the things I've done
Walk away from trouble if you can
Now it don't mean you're weak
If you turn the other cheek
And I hope you're old enough to understand
Son, you don't have to fight to be a man

There's someone for everyone
And Tommy's love was Becky
In her arms he didn't have
To prove he was a man
One day while he was working
The Gatlin boys came calling
They took turns at Becky
'n there was three of them
Tommy opened up the door
And saw his Becky crying
The torn dress, the shattered look
Was more than he could stand
He reached above the fireplace
Took down his daddy's picture
As his tears fell on his daddy's face
I heard these words again

Promise me, son
Not to do the things I've done
Walk away from trouble if you can
Now it don't mean you're weak
If you turn the other cheek
And I hope you're old enough to understand
Son, you don't have to fight to be a man

The Gatlin boys just laughed at him
When he walked into the bar room
One of them got up
And met him half way cross the floor
Tommy turned around they said
"Hey look, old yellow's leavin'"
You could've heard a pin drop
When Tommy stopped and locked the door

Twenty years of crawling
Was bottled up inside him
He wasn't holding nothing back
He let 'em have it all
Tommy left the bar room
Not a Gatlin boy was standing
He said, "This one's for Becky"
As he watched the last one fall
N' I heard him say

I promised you, Dad
Not to do the things you've done
I walk away from trouble when I can
Now please don't think I'm weak
I didn't turn the other cheek
Papa, I should hope you understand
Sometimes you gotta fight
When you're a man

Everyone considered him
The coward of the county
Do you see how "Coward of the County" paints a picture whereas "Fight Test" only suggests an idea?

For example, "Fight Test" tells the listener about how maturity sometimes requires fighting: "Because I'm a man, not a boy, and there are things you can't avoid. You have to face them when you're not prepared to face them." 

On the other hand, "Coward of the County" shows this idea by placing us in a scene: "The Gatlin boys came calling. They took turns at Becky, 'n there was three of them. Tommy opened up the door and saw his Becky crying. The torn dress, the shattered look was more than he could stand."

The story comes to life with specific people (Tommy and Becky and The Gatlin boys) in a specific place (a bar room) with specific visuals (a torn dress, a shattered look, a picture on a fireplace mantel, a locked door, a man knocked cold, falling to the floor).

Both songs are appealing, but only "The Coward of the County" was a number one hit song in several countries and inspired a television movie. The cinematic experience it creates takes an important idea and makes it memorable.

Winner: Kenny Rogers.


Comments are closed.
    Picture

    Brett Cooper

    Writer, reader, runner, teacher, father, infp, huffleclaw. 

    ​I l
    ove to spin stories and collect thoughts.

    Popular

    • a thought a day keeps lazy writing away
    • the art and business of the title
    • what if? - high concept and mental real estate in YA fiction
    • nice to meet you - introducing your protagonist
    • how to write a katniss-worthy protagonist
    • bring on the badass!
    • the strange, ingenious plot structure of john green's paper towns
    • hook 'em hard
    • be specific
    • make 'em wait (suspense rule #1)
    • revision needs many voices
    • 12 reasons writers should be runners

    Also try...

    Book Memes
    Daily Thoughts
    Other Memes
    Write YA Blog

    Archives

    November 2019
    September 2019
    July 2019
    July 2017
    July 2016
    June 2016
    September 2015
    August 2015
    July 2015
    June 2015
    March 2015
    June 2014
    January 2014
    November 2013
    June 2013
    September 2012
    August 2012
    July 2012

    RSS Feed

    Tweets by @bcooperbooks
home
blog
about
© 2019 Brett Cooper. All Rights Reserved
  • Home
  • Blog
  • Daily Thoughts
  • Other
    • Snoop Movie Script >
      • SNOOP Logline
      • SNOOP Synopsis
      • SNOOP Script
      • SNOOP Article
    • Collaborative Novel Writing >
      • BEASTS OF EDEN
      • THE HEART OF ATLANTIS
    • "In the Blood" Short Story
    • Movie Reviews
    • Articles
    • Other Memes
    • Daily Thoughts in the Classroom
  • About
    • Contact